Breakin' up is hard to do

Oy - those earrings!  Remember them?  Anyway....

"I'll take that flower," says Susan (not you, the other Susan).
Why, I wonder.  There's only eight tiles left.  And she's putting it out with a joker? Sure enough, Frieda picks a tile, pulls a flower out of her hand, takes the joker and says, "Mahjongg!  Thanks, Susan, I thought I'd never make it."  Grrr....  The glares are going right over Susan's head.

Girls, fellas, whatever - there comes a time when you know it's over.  The last minute exposure will not help you one bit.  You blew it, you tried to go jokerless, three four craks went out, you tried to switch but you're way behind.   Or you're doing beautifully, just got set, only to see three three dots, four five dots and three seven dots on Terry's rack and you picked a one dot.  Eeeww.....

When is the right time to break up your hand?  When does the needle go from hopeful to hopeless and you know it isn't meant to be?  You've got to look at the table and count.  You don't need to be a math genius to know that the odds of your getting a pair of soaps diminish with every tile that goes out.  And as the walls get smaller and smaller your enthusiasm for your hand starts waning and leaking all over the table.  You can easily ascertain how many picks you have left by counting the tiles in the wall by groups of four.  Twelve tiles - three picks.  Do you think you're going to get two soaps in three picks?  You might.  But it isn't likely, is it?  So are you going to give Terry mahjongg for the sake of holding on to a dream?  Are you going to call that flower, expose it with a joker and hope you'll fill in the gaping hole at the end of your hand?  In three picks?  Or four?

Yes, breakin' up is hard to do, but oftentimes you must.  A realistic assessment may counsel for a switch from offensive to defensive play.  Giving up on your own hand gives you the freedom to see the bigger picture.  Are your tiles in that puny wall, or is someone saving them?  Who?  Why?  How should I react?

Look, it's not impossible that Brad Pitt will declare his undying love for you and acknowledge his mistake in marrying Angie.  But every day that passes makes that less likely to happen.  Far be it from me to tell you to  stop imagining the possibility.  But let's be honest, here.  Two soaps in three picks?  

Major League Mahjongg

(Your name here)
North American Mah Jongg Champion!

Something is afoot in the world of mahjongg.  I just received a very fancy flyer from the American Mah Jongg Association announcing their inaugural North American championship tournament in Atlantic City on November 28 - grand prize $2500 and coverage  in "multiple media outlets".    Mahjongg Madness is having their tournament on November 11-14 also in Atlantic City.  There's also a tournament at a Wisconsin Dells resort that same weekend.   On October 30th there are three - count 'em three -tournaments in the NY metropolitan area.  If you click on the tournament schedule link to the left you'll find a bunch of great cruises are coming up in December and January.   Sounds to me like mahjongg is getting hot.  Can the mahjongg channel be far behind?

All this mahjongg activity has given me an idea.  Why not have teams, like in Major League Baseball?  Now that everyone is back from vacation and the fall mahjongg season has started, this would be a great time to organize.  We've got about twelve people on the Forest Hills team raring to go, and I bet Century Village Pembroke Pines would make formidable opponents.

Here is how it would work:  The season would begin when the new card arrives.  Each team would have a uniform, of course; colorful T-shirts, jewelry made from tiles and other identifying paraphernalia such as mahjongg motif cat's-eye glasses or sneakers sponsored by Where the Winds Blow.  The team would notify a tournament operator that four people will be attending on behalf of the team.   The players would attend and play their darnndest, after which they would have their cumulative score certified by the tournament operator.   Sometime in March before the new card comes out, a World Series will be held with the highest scoring teams playing in competitive faceoffs.  The winning team will get to take possession of the Unger Award  and declare themselves World Champions for a year.  They will also appear in a commercial for Crunch N' Munch, and one lucky team will be the subject of a Ken Burns documentary.

I personally would be thrilled to go into the field and scout for talent, or better yet, create a training camp in Florida.  I could coach or even own a team!  Maybe create a mahjongg scholarship!  Next stop Madison Square Garden!  No, wait -Mahj Arena!   So come on Cleveland Crakheads and Boca Boomer Bammers, let's roll the dice and make this happen!